Hustle, bustle, books, you know.

It's December.
School is almost over and the deluge of exams have rushed into the halls of my esteemed university. Luckily, I have only one "serious" exam, which takes place tomorrow. (It's my Jane Austen love affair class).
But I'm happy the semester is over, cuz it's been a killer. Next semester will probably be equally as painful, but not more. I'll knock out the tough COMS classes and electives next semester, and all I'll have left is Bivle 110, an internship, Media Law, Prof. Communications, and my remaining practicum. Real life is so close.

Though I've been reading a lot, Christmas break is when I get to hunker down and improve my vocab. on the subject of my choice. AKA I go to Library and check out books I've been waiting all semester for. Welcome to Nerd City. You'd think I'd had my fill of books.
After reading Fast Food Nation I can't even look at a French fry.
And after reading Jane Austen's canon, I don't want to touch a classic.
So I'll probably read the remainder of Lemony Snickets books. Go ahead. Judge me. See if I care.
I will read A Prayer for Owen Meany (because a wise man told me too).
And catch up on comic books, and useless trivia.

Only a mere two days. Or is it three? eh.

So this weekend I traveled to the colonial lands with the fam.  It's been nice. I've done some reading, found some articles for my research paper(which is due MONDAY by the by), and caught up on Lost. I finished season two, and can I just say I love it. I need to watch season three now.

Enough googling over TV. Today I plan to meet up with Jessica for some coffee and conversation. Then do some colonial exploring. I just need to beware of squirrels.

But you may be wondering why I am here sitting here in the hotel with McDonalds and typing this story. Because I want to.

Actually the real answer is my parents left me here. Thanks parents. 

Oh, and it's 47 degrees outside, and I love it.

Commentary on traditions

For the past couple of years, Thanksgiving has become sort of a lackluster holiday for me. It;s essentially a day when my mom and dad, and maybe an aunt have a fancy dinner. I think it stems from, you can hate me I don't care, all my grandparents have died. It's kind of sad. My brother and his wife usually go to his in-laws for Thanksgiving and our house for Christmas.
It's just the way things work out.

That's why I try to come up with exciting plans and form some traditions with my friends. Such as on Thanksgiving me and Carli get together and watch Thanksgiving episodes of Friends. Call it corny I don't care. heh. Get it. Jimmy crack corn and I don't- nevermind.

I thought of going to NYC to see the Macy's Parade, but I have insufficient funds and I really haven't called Jess to plan it. (Sorry Jess). So I feel at least a small roadtrip should be made. Perhaps up on the parkway somewhere.

But now's the time for confession. What I really want to do is lay in my pajamas and watch all three Lord of the Rings movies consecutively.

That's not healthy. So someone needs to save me from it.
Start rescue planning now. Go. NOW.
What are you waiting for?!

ok. ok, that's it.
I can't take much more of this.
This reading and writing and reading and doing and writing. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
For the love of God MAKE IT STOP!

But, I have it better than some. At least I'm not doing intricate labs with gooey liquids and equations. 
Equations. The word equation makes me want to vomit on command. If I never have to do another math problem in my life, I won't cry one smidgen of a tear. 
That's why I'm (TA-DA) a journalist.

But I really don't want to be a reporter.  Honestly, I'd rather write book about dragons and swords fighting creatures wearing spikes covered in goo.

I like the word goo.

But I digress, if I could pull a Marty from BTTF, I'd go back and change my major to graphic design. Believe it.

the lastest serenade

so lately I've been listening to Mat Kearney non-stop. 
I'd heard about him somewhere, and decided to try it. So I popped it in, and after a minute I said, "ew. rap."
If you know me at all you know I can't stomach the gangsta rap or country. The only circumstance for country listening would be when my car won't start AND when my dog has died, but only in THAT instance.

But I learned to like Kearney. Forget his music for a second, his lyrics are incredible.
I think the reason I like it so much, is because I can relate to it heavily.  
let me sum it up - the world is hard, but what can you do? live it. because that's all there is. 
In the song "Renaissance" is about breaking down those walls and discovering something you never knew you had...or at least to me that's what it means.


I've been thinking lately, and even though I'm not a musician, and even though I don't write my own, or sing, or play the guitar - music drives me. period. It can be your best friend and your worst enemy. It can release your inner demons or hold on to something you love.  Can you imagine a world without it?
That's what I would call a bad dream. 

Jane Austen can shove it.

Me and Jane Austen are over, kaput, the love is dead. That old broad can take a hike into the grave.
Luckily for me she has. 
Mansfield Park was not my cup o' tea you could say. Plus when you're asked to read a 400+ page book in a week, we'll see how much you like it.

I'm composing an article for my newspaper about National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, because when I stopped to think- there are a lot of companies and businesses in support of this.  Instead of writing about some political event, I chose a more "human interest" topic. And honestly that's the kinda stuff I like to write.

And now I must go finish it.

I really need a nap.
Like my life seriously depends on it.

so this school thing...

so this school thing is cool and all, but I've kinda had my fill.
I like doing my homework minutes before it's due. It keeps me on my toes, but at the same time, it stresses me out. But a little stress'll never hurt anybody. 
So, I knew today was going to be "one of those days." First I woke up extremely early, a whole 2.5 hours before schedule. Then in the shower, when I shut the shampoo bottle, a droplet of shampoo shot from bottlecap straight into my EYE! I screamed. It burned.
Then it was raining outside. I like rain- when I have to stay inside.
But I digress, I've had my coffee, BS-ed my homework, and now I'm enjoying 13 carefree minutes before class.

oh, and thanks Father Winter for getting out of bed you lazy whore. 

TV roundup pt. 2..snooze.

There weren't many great premieres.
One Tree Hill was decent.
Haven't watched Lost's, I'm ten episodes behind from last season.

Smallville- Lana got impaled in the hand. nice.
Friday Night Lights was actually very decent.
other than that, TV was disappointing. 
30 Rock and Sci-Fi's Battlestar Galactica seem promising. As does the new John Lithgow, whose name I can't remember.
What About Brian? what about him, who cares.

ok, me being the tv guide has grown old, especially when I don't have cleverness to add.
good day. 

TV Round-up pt.1

So the season has succumbed to blistering heat and hapless days by the pool, and changed.
Fall is here.
There are great things about fall, it's so pret--yeah yeah yeah.
TV premieres begin in September. If you say you don't get yourself into a tizzy over your favorite shows and whats happening with them and how you've actually forgotten what's happened, then you are LYING!

TV shows are a drug is the bottom line. 
I like seeing what's new and more importantly what survives. I will discuss my love of media medium and my own little tv show round-up here. (DISCLAIMER: I actually have not stooped to the level of doing this for fun, I am in class and need something to occupy my brilliant mind.)
So, The CW has begun and launched several premieres. We must overlook America's Next Top Model, because Tyra Banks is a loon. No seriously, she's creepy.
Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill have both launched into soapy, hither and thither heart-wrenching enough to put any couch potato on the edge of their...er...couch.
But, Gilmore Girls has a new writer, and guess what--it's better and funny. Better funny. Before they were heavily annoying, and I must say I enjoyed this dose of banter.

ABC has switched their mega-hit Grey's Anatomy to Thursday. Grey's the ever-tearjerker, will reign at this spot.
Desperate Housewives, ER, and Studio 60 have all had impressive debuts. 
New show 6 Degrees is disjointed and hard to follow. 
And here's the closer, the big gem of this season will probably be Heroes. It managed to trump my expectations. 

To be continued...

let the blubbering commence...

ok.
so, this was supposed to be a space where I refect and write on serious and topical issues.
F'get that.
This is my column, from now on.
And I must say first off, that I have discovered that I am not one of those people who likes to live alone or spend a day to themselves or sit at home at read at night. I don't like quiet. I like noisy.
Honestly if things come down to the list above, I'll start running and screaming simultaneously.
I like being in the hustle and bustle. I like being in the midst of things. Not out of midst. In of midst.
Now, there will come a day where I might have to live alone. But there are ways to solve this-
ahem-
1. Get a roommate. Save some money, ya know. Twentysomething-it.
2. Own a boarding house. Now this would be fun! A house full of crazies! yeh. riiight.
3. Get married. One day, one day. sheesh
4. there is no #4
Finally let me clarify, I'm not lonely or afraid of being alone, I just don't like being cut off. Restless. Isolated. Call it what you will. I like to be on the move, NOT settled down.
I'm not Henry Thoreau and going to live in a tree in the woods for God knows how long.
Not me.

ok, well that made NO sense.
none-sense.

Reflections

So summer is coming to a close, and I have been nothing short of unproductive. This is the first thing I have written in months. Yeh...me...the journalist.

I wanted a summer of change and relaxation. And I got it. Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for. I had a lot of first-times this summer.
Several vacations to amazing places.
Lots of wasted down time.
One of my best friends is getting married.
My circle changed, the people I trusted changed, and my personality changed.
Not all of it was good. I let love pass me by through fear, I feel farther from my family than I've ever been, and a dear friend's stricken with cancer.
I'm much more nervous about the upcoming year than I thought I'd be.

But I'm realizing that college is an experience. Sure its about learning neccessary skills to be productive and successful. It's also about learning to accept things, and move on.
By move on I mean recognize the pieces in life that are mere stepping stones to the next level.
Nothing can stay the same.




But there are exceptions ;]

Ever feel yourself drifting?
Maybe drifting isn't the word. Maybe stuck in a rut. That sounds depressing, but imagine if it wasn't for a moment.
Does your life ever get stuck on a branch and not able to move on?
The obvious solution would be to change something.
But what happens when you don't know what to change or how?
Welcome to my life.

I'm not at all unhappy with my life, I'm just restless and dissatisfied with the way some things have panned out. And as I mull these things over, there really is no way to fix them.
Finally--an example: After high school I grew out of my shell, I became more outspoken and personable, and I liked it. These days it seems this has just vanished from me. I'll see people I know across the room and just not bother to go over and shout "hello" unless I'm spoken to first.
Yeh, pretty freakin' weird.
Maybe my correspondence skills suffered a blow somewhere.
actually they did.
I have lost contact with of some dear friends, and that I regret.
Things change, people change, it's all part of the journey of life.
But I won't give up, I can't. It's not in me.
I wrote this as a reminder to myself to step out of the box and go somewhere, stop thinking about doing something and just do it and when I find chances - to take them. I think it'll be worth it.

"I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready,"--

-quoted by the wise sage, Spongebob Squarepants. I feel that sums it up. I think I'm ready. Ready for a lot of things. A lot of changes. A lot of things I've never included in the great big experiment I like to call my life.
I have come to a point in my life where I have begun to realize that my life is like a book. And I've been stuck in the same chapter of this book for the past two and a half years. I haven't changed, or rather I felt like I haven't. I tend to emulate instead of change. But change is what I need. The page needs to turn, and the new chapter begin.
But beginning a new chapter in the book of life can be like learning where the soup aisle is or learning to ride a bike all over again. Easy or hard. College does this to you. It twists you and bends you to see how you'll respond. You'll either break the mold and creat something or spring back to the way you were. It all comes down to choice.
Choice. Teenagers today are drilled with the word choice. Make good choices, the choices today will reflect your future, and the choice you blah, bla-blah, bla-blah.
I get it. Only I can change my life. Only I can turn the page. But the hardest thing of all, is realizing it needs to happen. This all may sound like cryptic heiroglyphs, but it should make sense to that twentysomething struggling with the questions: Who do I want to be? Where am I going next?
Be honest with yourself, life can be scary. I, myself, am edging out of college. Teetering on the doorstep of the real world. Pretty soon, I'll be doing grown-up things like cleaning a gutter or buying my own Q-tips. Have you ever thought that when you grow up you have to buy your own Q-tips? I didn't think so.
At the beginning, you probably thought I'd have a solution or a famously hot tip. True story: I got nothin'. Except this. This is good: do it. Take chances(in a reasonable means. Don't eat tree bark.) Experience and learn. The only way you can change, is to change and grow, make mistakes and learn.
What's that? I'm wise? Thank you.
Huh? Practice what I preach? I know, I'm working on that. I promise

This has to be quick....

...because someone is tied to the old railroad tracks, and I hear a train coming.
These past weeks have been tense to say the least.
I just became involved in unseen battles, but the crucial thing to report is that this week I gained back my faith in what I have chosen to do with my life. I was feeling insecure about my abilities and losing confidence, but that has changed. I had internal bells whistle that I was on track, my faith had returned.
There wasn't a single moment of glistening realization where angels descended play tiny little harps, it was just a feeling.

Ok, Item number one: It pains me when I hear or read that people hate to read. Its so disheartening. True, some people may have impairments where reading is difficult for them, but if you think reading is just a waste of time, that is truly pathetic. The next generation is being bombarded with TV, DVDs, and video games. Whatever happened to a book. Reading is the best way to learn, and the written word has so much power. I was going somewhere with this, eh, later.

Item number two: National Geographic Magazine invokes true terror in me. I hate it, everytime time I pick it up, and I have to peek at the pages, with my heart beating in my ears loud enough to raise Davy Jones and his locker. I mean I almost had an axiety attack in the library last week. This is because NG always has giant pictures of these fish with enormous mandibles crunching away at life itself.
Did I mention ocean creatures with teeth are my absolute worst fear. Imagine an overweight 14-year-old screaming bloody murder, when he turns the channel unexpectedly to the Jaws marathon. Not pretty.
But seriously, do we need high-def mugshots of these behemoths showing a thousand tiny knives yearning for human flesh.
the answer is no. no no no.

I've officially creeped myself out now.

Back by popular demand.

I would just like to take this special time we have here to proclaim to the digital community how lazy I've become.
I am one lazy son of a gun.
I like to sleep-alot.

I feel like my life is too clean and organized, so I throw things around the room to make it seem more "lived-in." (Yes, thats right a nice coined phrase from fall 2005.)
For example, I sleep with books in my bed. Yeh sure, I fall asleep readin' them. I stuff them under my pillows, between the nooks and crannies of the covers. Pretty soon, I can just throw my bed out the window, and have a bed made of books. A bookbed.

I save all my laundry for one day. I call this laundry day. I can tell laundry day is close, because all of the good clothes are dirty, and I end up going to class grumpy, because I know I look ugly

On days when I know I've had a test the last class period, I usually don't go to class (Not ALL classes mind you, just the time-wasting-blow-all-my-money classes).
Instead I go to the coffeeshop, and soak up the culture aroundme .
Maybe one day I'll have the courage to put a beret on my head, grow a little mustache, and live on cigarettes just like a beat poet, but that probably won't happen because an Eminem look-alike tween could outsmoke me, and I don't like wearing hats.

On a totally opposite note, I bought a real-live journal yesterday. I want a to be a journalist, but I never journal. problem solved.
But-
everything I write comes out all sad and longing for an emo kid to glue it to his t-shirt...or myspace.
I need cleverness and creativity.

break.

So Christmas break was more than great. There were highs and lows.
I did Christmas break things, like work, and sleep, and stay out all hours of the night.

But let's be honest the real low point was Christmas.
Not only did my parents throw caution to the wind and neglect Christmas tradition, they acted like I wasn't there half the time. I'm talking about things like I'm in the middle of telling a story and they just walk out of the room. yeh.
It wasn't the worst Christmas, just the most awkward.

New Year's came with resolutions that will never resolve.
and two weeks of laziness. Well I did read alot of books, and watch alot of Tv. And I managed to take a solo roadtrip.
productive.

and now round 2, jr. yr. begins.
super.